Translation. Region: Russian Federal
Source: Moscow Government – Government of Moscow –
International Mediation Day is celebrated on June 18. Moscow has unique specialists — mediators — who help city residents resolve conflicts and disputes. You can get their support at family centers and the Center for Mediation and Social and Legal Assistance. Thanks to the specialists, in almost 70 percent of cases it is possible to find a solution that suits both parties.
People turn to mediators when there are disagreements in a couple, difficulties in communication between children and parents. The main goal of specialists is to help reach an agreement and find a solution that takes into account the interests of everyone, to maintain or restore relationships.
Conflicts between spouses
The mediation procedure is effective in a family crisis. Spouses can contact specialists at any stage of the conflict. The mediator will help resolve the conflict, and if this is impossible, get a divorce calmly and without lengthy court proceedings. Last year, a project was launched for couples without children who filed a joint application for divorce at the My Documents government services center. Within a month after that, they can receive a mediator’s consultation: take a fresh look at the current situation, find a way out of the crisis and, possibly, save the relationship.
For example, Olga and Pavel were on the verge of a breakup. At the My Documents government services center, the couple accepted an offer to participate in the project. Mediators held several sessions with the spouses, helped identify key points on which their opinions diverge: budget planning, respect for personal boundaries, and the format of joint leisure. The parties voiced their positions and, with the support of a specialist, found a compromise.
“The mediator managed to restore communication between the young spouses and help them come to agreements that saved the marriage. After completing the work with the specialist, Olga and Pavel went on a trip to Sochi. It turned out that this was what both had wanted for a long time, but could not voice to each other due to tense relations,” said Olga Gracheva, head of the Center for Mediation and Social and Legal Assistance (branch of the Center “Assistance”) of the capital
Department of Labor and Social Protection of the Population.
When the union cannot be saved, the mediator helps to transfer the current relationship to the stage of completed and agree on the future. Olga Gracheva noted that this is important, especially if the spouses have children. Specialists will help to understand the family conflict, using mediation tools and will provide psychological support. The result of the negotiations will be a mediation agreement, which will reflect all the agreements.
Working with children
Family center specialists instill a culture of communication in the younger generation and teach them conflict resolution skills. In the young mediators club, teenagers aged 12 to 18, under the guidance of experienced mentors, master mediation technologies and develop personal competencies that help build effective communication in everyday life. The kids learn to listen, hear, and find compromises.
“The knowledge that the children received in the young mediators’ club is not just theory, it is an opportunity to look at conflicts from a different angle, to understand themselves and others, to get real tools and learn how to use them. We help develop awareness, teach how to manage emotions, find a common language with others and take responsibility,” said Marina Kalmykova, head of the mediation service of family centers.
For example, Daniil’s parents and grandparents were constantly arguing about his future. The schoolboy found himself a hostage to the situation. Adults insisted that he go to 10th grade and then continue his education at a law school. As summer approached, the situation in the family became tense. Daniil did not want to be a lawyer and felt guilty for his choice. At the young mediators’ club, the boy learned conflict resolution techniques that could be applied in the current situation. He talked to his relatives one by one, listened to their opinions and wishes. The boy told his relatives that he was not attracted to the legal profession and that he wanted to be an engineer. Adults accepted this choice and helped him choose a suitable educational institution. Daniil noted that the young mediators’ club taught him to communicate without conflicts, seek compromises, and talk about his needs and desires.
Mediation is a modern and effective way of resolving conflicts, allowing to find a solution that will satisfy both parties to the dispute. With the support of an independent intermediary – a mediator – the participants come to a compromise taking into account the interests of each.
In Moscow, spouses with children can use mediation services in family centers AndCenter for Mediation and Social and Legal Assistance. It is free for all Muscovites, you can sign up by phone: 7 499 369-01-90 oron the website.
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